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Wednesday, December 3, 1997

No parking, no privacy, no problem: Forty-three members of Alpha Epsilon Phi live in the Hilgard house and share the ups and downs of sorority lifeBy Carol McKay

Daily Bruin Staff

At 5:29 Monday night, the dining hall at Alpha Epsilon Phi (A E Phi), a sorority on Hilgard Avenue, was a pretty empty place. A small number of sorority members sat around one of the stark white tables awaiting the arrival of their anticipated meals from El Pollo Loco.

Several of the girls perked up at the sound of the doorbell. "Is that it?" they asked, and within minutes, dozens of students had filled the dining room, flocking to the central table from which the smells of chicken and rice emanated.

"It's when there's food that people come out of the woodwork," said Maria Chi, a second-year member of A E Phi and the new vice president. "After dinner it gets real quiet."

Smiling on the sidelines is Sarah Wilkes, a third-year sociology student who recently finished her term as president of A E Phi. Watching the girls file in line ­ plastic utensils and paper plates in hand ­ to pile up the food while there's still some left, Wilkes surveyed the scene.

"I'm in transition right now. I still feel like I need to clean the kitchen after dinner," Wilkes said. At the Sisterhood dinner, Wilkes' sorority sisters presented to her an embroidered blanket as a symbol of their appreciation for her year of service to the organization.

"Despite the hard work, I always try to let everyone know how special the house is to me, and I really want to give back. To be honest, it's been really draining," Wilkes said, after the emotional presentation and giving and receiving lots of hugs.

"It's all worth it, and it's times like this ­ when I get a 'thank you' ­ that I realize it."

As her year of devotion to A E Phi comes to its end ­ the new president of A E Phi will take over winter quarter ­ Wilkes reflected on the work and sacrifices required for the job.

"I haven't taken four classes in four quarters," she said. Wilkes also had to quit her job and dedicate Mondays ­ a day off ­ to the house.

As president, Wilkes had both internal and external responsibilities.

"I had to do basic supervision of the house. It's really hard to describe (my role). I had to run the meetings, be the general spokesperson for the house. A lot of time, it's just about talking to people," she said, as Chi entered her room, bringing the latest news about the previous night's collapsed bunk bed.

Luckily, the bed under the fallen one wasn't occupied when the disaster occurred, and no one was hurt, though the sleeping student on the top bunk was startled.

"I wish our Dad was here. When something breaks he's here to fix it," said Mo Vakili, a third-year pre-med student. "He's an ex-cop, and now he totally looks out for us."

Unlike other houses on sorority row, A E Phi has two house directors: a "house mom" and a "house dad." Until winter quarter begins, however, the residents of A E Phi will be supervised by a substitute house mom while the regulars are at home in Florida.

The students who live in the house, called live-ins, have a lot to say about sorority life. There are pains, of course. With only seven parking spaces and 43 residents, free spots on Hilgard Avenue are priceless. According to Chi, three members of the house rely completely on Hilgard parking, and there are stories of one of them circling for two hours in search of a spot.

Living with 42 other girls has other personal disadvantages as well.

"There's no privacy. And when you tell one person one thing, by the time you get downstairs, people already know it," Chi said. "But I take things for granted too. When I went home for Thanksgiving, I missed the big bucket of marshmallows by the toaster."

Despite the negatives, the live-ins were eager to list the positives as well. According to Wilkes, live-ins pay $600 each month, which includes breakfast, lunch and dinner during the week; housekeeping services; and utilities.

"It's much cheaper than the dorms, and it includes dues," Wilkes said. "Also, it's closer to campus and there's always someone there to talk to. And I've never had to wait in line for a shower."

The residents of A E Phi explain their living situation in several ways. "It's like the dorms, minus the guys. Everybody gets excited when a guy comes," Chi said. At A E Phi, male guests are allowed in the living area (upstairs) until midnight. After that, they are allowed to sleep in a guest room downstairs.

Walking by the TV room, where a student is wrapped in a blanket with the TV blaring, Wilkes admits that "embarrassingly enough, they do watch 'Friends' together. And sometimes it's even worse ­ 'Melrose Place.'"

According to Wilkes, being in a sorority isn't what she had always anticipated. In high school, she never planned on joining one. But the summer before her freshman year she gave it more thought, and she pledged that fall quarter.

"I don't necessarily think of myself as a 'sorority girl,'" she said. At least not like the sorority women portrayed in made-for-TV movies. "What was that one called?" she asked. "Oh, it was 'Dying to Belong,' with Zack from 'Saved by the Bell.' Those movies are nightmares for us."

According to Wilkes, the hazing activities featured in movies that portray sorority life "just don't happen. I've never heard of sororities hazing. They just don't do it."

Despite the unrealistic portrayals on TV, Wilkes did say that there currently are attempts to change the Greek system, both at UCLA and the national level.

"There's a big push for change, for having frats become dry," she said, noting that all houses on sorority row are prohibited from having alcohol or illegal drugs on their premises.

"And I think that is absolutely a good rule. Some people would turn their heads, but no one would let me see (alcohol) in the house, because they know I would do something about it."

Having served on a judicial board for the Panhellenic system this past year, Wilkes said there were only a few incidents that were reviewed by the judicial board.

"But we were pretty strict," she said, adding that currently three sorority houses are on probation with the Panhellenic Council and several more with their national chapters.

"I think it's coincidental, though ­ not a trend," she said.

Wilkes, who has one biological brother who is 12 years old, said that she is not sure whether she would want her brother to join a fraternity, despite the benefits she feels she's received.

"I don't know," she said, her voice trailing. "I think fraternity life and sorority life are very different, from what I've observed."

Wilkes, who plans to live in an apartment next year after two years of living at the house, knows she will miss it. Despite the numerous meetings, hours of paperwork and sacrifices, Wilkes said moving on will be tough.

"Living in has been wonderful," she said. "But it's time. I'm going to be 22 years old. I feel like I should move on."

Anticipating four classes next quarter, though, is tough. "But I am very happy with (sociology). It's what you experience every day." For Wilkes, at A E Phi, that is very true.

The benefits of sisterhood: (Left) The hungry women of Alpha Epsilon Phi crowd the house dining room and enjoy a rare treat, dinner catered by El Pollo Loco. (Below) Sorority sisters Naomi Schlosberg (left) and Leila Haghighi remember a special moment while looking over pictures. (Bottom left) Jane Gendelman (left), a first-year political science student, and Natalie Tenenbaum, a third-year American literature student, spend "sisterly" time studying together.

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