Don't stand by your man

Published: Friday, October 30, 1998

Friday, October 30, 1998

PRIDE: Hillary should leave Bill for being unfaithful husband

I swore on everything holy that I wouldn't talk about Clinton in my column.

"Lisa," I said. "You're a smart cookie. Yes, you have opinions, but there is such a thing as giving the people too much of what they really don't want anymore. Last year it was affirmative action. This time, it's the president, and anything more would be overkill."

So, in allegiance to my readers and myself, I will not talk about Bill Clinton.

Instead, I'll talk about the other Clinton - Hillary Clinton - because her recent behavior has been one of the true disgraces, one of the true embarrassments our country has had to suffer through.

At this point, you've either assumed I've gone nuts or figured that if you keep reading, I'll be there any moment. Well, my fellow donkeys and elephants, I kid you not. My bone to pick is indeed with the first lady, not her (in)famous husband whose actions everyone would generally associate with this nation's disgrace and embarrassment.

Maybe I'm talking about her because no one else is. Or maybe it's because everyone should be.

It is my opinion that Hillary should publicly leave her husband immediately - while he is still in office. Truth be told, Bill's personal affairs, no pun intended, probably should have never infiltrated the public sphere in the first place. But now that they sadly have, it is imperative in respect of the first lady and this nation's women that Hillary leaves him.

I am simply ill at the sight of today's Hillary, side by side, hand in hand with the man who so deeply betrayed her. I cringe as she looks up to him in seeming admiration or speaks sweetly on his behalf in those media sound bites. And while those smiles may very well be fake, a "put-on" if you will, to convey to the public that everything is A-OK at the White House, they still transport a ghastly message.

Folks, this is a leader. Granted, she wasn't elected to the position, but because of her relation to the president she nevertheless stands as one of the most prominent and recognizable figures. Thus, when she quietly poses by Clinton's side, harkening back to the submissive '50s wives that the decades since have tried so hard to dispel, she sends the message that this type of behavior by men is acceptable ... is forgivable ... is forgettable. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but the last time I checked, the marriage contract wasn't a trivial article, though maybe in this day and age that's what it has been reduced to.

Now that I've laid out my demands, I think it only fair to acknowledge that this will never happen. Hillary will never publicly leave the president while he's still in office, if at all. One reason? The political power that her role affords her is not something this woman is eager to suddenly walk away from. Do you want another reason? She doesn't want to risk hurting him out of either sincere concern (unlikely), political allegiance (even more unlikely), or fear of further damaging his career (ding, ding, ding!). The final possibility? Maybe this super-intelligent woman has simply been in the dark. Impossible, you say?

White House aide Sidney Blumenthal doesn't think so. And a Newsweek story reporting Blumenthal's grand jury testimony of a conversation with the first lady shortly after the scandal broke seems to point to Hillary as the last to know: "Mrs. Clinton told Blumenthal that she was 'distressed' that the president was being attacked 'for political motives' (and that) her husband had told her that he had just 'ministered' to a 'troubled' young person. 'The president had come from a broken home,' Hillary explained. 'It was very hard to prevent him from ministering to these troubled people'" (Oct. 12, "Secrets and Lies," Evan Thomas).

Troubled, eh? The truly disturbing part of this whole affair is that officials seem to have been covertly shrouding Hillary from the president's indiscretions since the beginning. Ron Addington, an aide in Clinton's 1974 campaign for governor in Arkansas, relayed that the president was never eager to have Hillary around headquarters: "Clinton had surrounded himself with a circle of admiring female campaign volunteers ... if Clinton heard that Hillary was coming over to headquarters, he would arrange to have (whichever girl was there) slipped out the back door." (Newsweek, Oct. 19, "Bill and Hillary's Long, Hot Summer," Evan Thomas).

In the face of all this evidence, which is so readily available to and imposed upon the public eye, how can we support Hillary staying with this man despite his misdeeds - not as a national leader, but as a husband? Sure, I'm the first to applaud Bill for his impressive leadership record, and I will continue to applaud him as our leader. But for Hillary to keep clapping is a disgrace.

Now, as I say this, I realize that I have a substantial opposition on this issue, for many of you believe that Hillary leaving the president means the nation leaving the president.

After all, how can we respect and allow our leader to represent this country when his own wife walked out on his pathetic existence? You just might have a valid point, were it not for the differentiation between contracts. You see, when Bill and Hillary married, they took a vow; now that the vow has been severed, the contract could be considered null. On the other hand, the president vowed to serve and protect us, and however well you think he has performed that duty, he has broken no contract with the people of the United States. Also, when we wonder how we can respect him, let us keep in mind that the true respect in question is not of the president, but of his dishonored wife.

Many of you may ask, "Hasn't he been punished enough?" I am not advocating that Hillary leave him to punish him, although a Newsweek poll shows that nearly three quarters of those surveyed still want him punished in some way, or investigated further (Oct. 19). It is simply what needs to be done in order to show this country that women do not sit well with infidelity, even when it's by the president of the United States.

Others will persist, "Won't this drastically affect his ability to lead the country, and in turn, weaken our nation?" Maybe. But I'd like to think that the people have already formed their opinions of him and his actions so that Hillary's leaving him wouldn't throw us into national upheaval where we could no longer trust our own leader.

I think most of the damage to be done has been done and most of the trust to be lost has been lost.

While I'm not supporting placing one woman above the best interests of this nation, I am supporting the move of one woman who stands for the dignity of all women. Her move reaffirms female power over male abuses of the institution of marriage. Her respect is not just hers but the respect of all of this country's women. Unfortunately, that move is hers and hers alone.

Hillary, the ball's in your court.

Lisa Silver

Comments, feedback, problems?