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Monday, February 1, 1999

Clinton talks his way back into hearts of Americans

CLINTON: President shows trademark charisma during State of the Union address, glosses over impeachment

By Courtney Crowley

The Breeze

University Wire

Ladies and gentlemen (of the jury), the greatest actor of our time, the master showman, the slickest of the slick, the man who Don King should get into a ring because he is the most promotable fighter on Earth, did it again. The Comeback Kid came back from oppressive adversity, stared it in the face, mowed it down and saved his presidency with a State of the Union speech that was worth an Oscar nod.

If I wasn't ill before, I am now. Clinton affects me like E-coli, and it ain't pretty. He's used his bully pulpit to completely denigrate anything of meaning in the office of the president, or anything related to the integrity of the Constitution for that matter. And last Tuesday night (Jan. 19), he did it again in grand fashion.

He owns the hearts and minds of Americans now after fancy talking about every ideological, unifying topic he could: Social Security, taking care of the elderly, giving tax credits, suing tobacco companies. The list goes on and on, just as his speech did. And so does the B.S. He talked of bipartisanship and congratulated the Republicans on their achievements. It's endless, and it's all a bunch of crap.

That was not a man up there who had been impeached. That was the greatest politician in the history of the world, and it makes me sick. I had always heard that he was the finest politician of his generation, but he eclipsed anything he's ever previously done in this speech. Amazing. Masterful even.

He made himself look so good that night, it's like the man had not a care in the world, despite the fact that he was carrying bags under his eyes larger than the Grand Canyon.

No matter what the Republicans do from here on out, they will lose.

Two talking heads on ABC said it well last night.

"He is the consummate State of the Union speaker," said Leon Panetta, former chief of staff. "He touched every button, and helped himself in terms of preserving his presidency."

Another said, "Clinton uses these (State of the Union speeches) to untie himself from the railroad tracks."

The state of the Union is (surprise!) ... strong, he says. What else is he going to say? Of course it is. But this has nothing to do with his leadership. Washington has been paralyzed since the Lewinsky scandal broke around this time last year, and it's his fault.

But he comes out smelling like a rose anyway.

Another thing that bothers me is that Clinton had the gall to use icons of American culture to his own gain. It was the Night of 1,000 Stars - Rosa Parks, Sammy Sosa and the widows of the Capitol Hill police officers who were slain last summer. I realize that Clinton has stocked his night full of celebrities before, but never have I seen manipulation like this.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert invited the widows to sit with his wife. But why did Clinton have to point them out? Because Hastert, who seems like one of the only honorable men in Washington right now, beat him to the punch? How dare he pull police widows into this spectacle.

And Rosa Parks? How can he pull a national icon, a woman that so many respect and admire, into his spider web? The man, we all know, has no shame. Ms. Parks will mean more to this country than Clinton ever will. She should not have been called on as a pawn to save this man's presidency.

And what about Sammy Sosa? What the heck was he doing there? He's not an American citizen and proud of that fact. Was Mark McGwire not available? The thing that really makes me mad, though, is the nature of this event as a three-ring circus. I was eagerly awaiting the fire swallowers and the high-wire act. The bearded lady? Actually, wait, I think I saw a few of those among the members of his cabinet.

And the worst part of it all is that the Republicans sent up the two worst speakers in history to give the rebuttal. Reps. Jennifer Dunn and Steve Largent looked like they should be hawking power tools on late-night infomercials or something. Where's J.C. Watts? Bring back J.C.!

The GOP could have at least used someone who has some personality, but instead they picked two people with none. No wonder the GOP is going to lose this battle any which way they try.

I feel like I'll have the stomach flu until the day the next president is inaugurated. Even worse is that Clinton's job approval rating after the State of the Union Address stands at 69 percent according to a Wednesday ABC News Poll. Sixty-nine percent? Are you kidding me? What kind of people are being polled?

Apparently the vast majority of Americans polled seem to have developed some type of disorder where they turned their brains in for free tickets to Disney World when Clinton became the leader of the free world.

I want to renounce my citizenship to this country and move to Bora Bora after this spectacle.

I think I'll buy my plane ticket tomorrow.

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