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  Out Cold Out Cold, a movie about snowboarding, is a new comedy.

“Out Cold” Starring Flex Alexander and A. J. Cook Directed by Brendan Malloy, Emmett Malloy

If the new gross-out comedy “Out Cold” were to snowboard down a mountain, it would run into a tree and, hopefully, die. Using numerous failed attempts to be funny, the new Disney film tells the story of five rambunctious 20-something snowboarders who desperately hope to save their beloved historic Alaskan ski resort from becoming a victim of corporate greed. During their quest, of course, all of the characters find themselves in a number of wild situations. It’s an obvious attempt to cash in on the success of the recent cinematic barrage of pie-humping and mouse swallowing, but in “Out Cold,” the situations are just not all that funny. In one of the movie’s nuttiest scenes, one of the young snowboarders, Luke (Zach Galifianakis), is ditched abruptly by a gorgeous blonde right before getting it on with her in a hot tub. In hopes of quelling the need left over from his brief sexual encounter, Luke turns to some wild lovin’ from the ever-so-generous hot tub jet. Luke soon learns that what goes in doesn’t always come out, as his penis had to be pried from the hot tub jet the following morning. Bummer, dude. While the scene has potential to be fairly memorable, it is poorly done and relies purely on the absurdity of the situation to be funny. The physical comedy regularly involves too much vulgarity and too little cleverness to do anything beyond causing a nausea epidemic among the audience. The film also seems to mimic the classic raunch films that have come before it and feels ridiculously formulaic. There’s the wild John Belushi frat boy character, Luke, the level-headed semi-normal guy with girl problems, and the gorgeous dream woman married to the successful 50-year-old businessman. Even the extreme snowboarding clips seem reminiscent of the surfing movies of the ’80s. Only this time, the daredevils are on the snowy slopes of Alaska instead of the sandy beaches of California. While the film will occasionally elicit a brief chuckle, audiences are probably better off staying home and watching snowboard bloopers.

Suneal Kolluri “Spy Game” Starring Robert Redford and Brad Pitt Directed by Tony Scott

Boy scouts are always prepared, but seasoned CIA operatives know the most valuable life lessons. Lesson 1: Never leave the house without a pocketknife and chewing gum. Lesson 2: When it comes to you or them, send flowers. Lesson 3: Set aside money for retirement and don’t spend it on anyone. In a somewhat far-fetched, but consistently entertaining action flick, Brad Pitt stars as a CIA operative, Tom Bishop, alongside Robert Redford, who plays his retiring mentor Nathan Muir. After Bishop is arrested for espionage in a Chinese prison, Muir spends his last day on the job working against the rest of the agency trying to save his friend’s life. The story unfolds as Muir recounts his history with Bishop from their first meeting during the war in Vietnam to his training in Berlin to the last time they spoke in Beirut. All the while, the time is posted periodically to remind the audience that Bishop’s 8 a.m. execution is quickly approaching while the CIA head honchos, who should be negotiating to rescue him, are chatting in a conference room. Although the movie fails to develop the deep relationship between the men, the exciting editing and cinematography more than compensate for the holes in the script. The dizzying camera angles, strategically timed black and white moments, and choppy snapshot scenes offer up enough eye-candy to give an eye-cavity. Catherine McCormack, as Bishop’s love interest, Elizabeth Hadley, steals many of her scenes as an AIDS worker in Beirut refugee camps. Pitt and Redford do not fall short, however, showing their best talents as the most subtle of melodramatic men. There is action and suspense for him. There is a little touch of romance and, well, Brad Pitt for her. All that, in addition to the intelligent plot twists that keep everyone guessing, give the movie a universal appeal. “Spy Game” is a great break from reality that lets the audience feel they are CIA insiders, if just for a couple hours.

Shana Dines “Barstow 2008” Starring Paul Willson, Mindy Sterling Directed by Bob Morrow

Finally, a film that redefines the term “Special Olympics.” The witty indie “Barstow 2008” takes a mockumentary look at the very special town of Barstow, Calif., official pit stop of disrespectful Hollywood types on their way to Vegas. The film recounts the absurd, mildly depressing exploits of the town’s down-on-his-luck dreamer, Benny Finch (Paul Willson). Our hero, who prides himself on his status as Barstow’s first male manicurist, finds himself suddenly out of a job and labeled a loser at 50. In order to bolster his self-esteem and bring desperately needed revenue to the Finch family household, he single-handedly undertakes a campaign to convince the Olympic committee to bring the “twenty-oh-eight” games to his hometown. “Barstow 2008” is brimming with with lowbrow, but never crude, humor. Most of the jokes stem from the preposterous mental processes of the main characters. Take Finch’s children, for example. Both have unusual ways of dealing with their dad’s reputation in the town; his slow-witted son, Erik Estrada Finch (David Bonfadini), enjoys blowing up chicken carcasses in the desert, and his daughter, Farrah Fawcett Finch (Christy Scott), has developed an erotic fixation with the elderly. She once infiltrated a retirement home and posed as a nurse so that she could treat an unsuspecting old man to a sponge bath. The comic delivery of most of the actors, particularly these three, is pitch perfect; their attitudes of innocence and honesty enable them to consistently pull off even the most ridiculous of punchlines. And ultimately, Finch’s undying faith in his dream will inspire even the most cynical of audience members to cheer him on. He doesn’t see the obvious problems inherent in what he is trying to do, but really, who would want to point them out to him? The film looks as if it sprang from somebody’s personal home movie archives; there are plenty of goofy zooms and pans, and lots of windy, hand-held exterior shots which capture the dusty dementia that is Barstow. It has an organic, rumpled feel that is absolutely engaging and appropriate. “Barstow 2008” may have the obvious limitations of a low-budget picture, but its inspired premise and rare comic genius are priceless qualities which are usually pissed away by most of those Hollywood types. This pit stop town proves to be a veritable treasure trove of originality.

Kelly Haigh

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