Mourners to religion
Up until this point, I think I have avoided the issue of religion pretty well. But a funeral I attended last weekend in memory of a departed couple got me thinking.
I assumed we were all there to say goodbye to our friends, to remember them, to be there for family and for each other, regardless of religious affiliations.
I certainly didn’t expect to be angered and disgusted at a funeral.
As we listened to relatives, fellow church members and childhood friends deliver eulogies as tears ran down my face, the reverend ascended to the front and began talking in his loud theatrical reverend voice. He told us not to worry because he truly believes the deceased husband accepted God into his heart and claimed Jesus Christ as his savior or whatever.
The fact that he then had the audacity to expect this from all of us simply transcended my capacity for open-minded tolerance. He made huge sweeping movements with his arms as if mimicking flames and falling debris. He assured us that as husband and wife faced imminent death in their final moments, the husband finally joined his wife in her unwavering faith in God.
I was shocked at how inconsiderate he was to disregard independent thought in favor of trying to make a statement about the redemptive values of Christianity. Whatever happened in the last few minutes is hardly a suitable topic to debate – isn’t it up to us to honor their memory while keeping their individuality as intact as possible?
We don’t hold loved ones close because they share our religious beliefs, nor should we push them away if they don’t. What gives the reverend the right to desecrate the truth with groundless hypotheses?
And on top of this, the reverend sporadically reminded those of us who haven’t accepted God into our lives, it’s not too late, but that we’d better do it soon because it’s the only way we’ll get to heaven and meet up with our departed friends again. This is such a cheap shot it makes me want to gag – not to mention counterproductive if the reverend really thinks he can somehow win converts in the vulnerable minds of funeral-goers.
I don’t doubt that at least a portion of his intentions were noble. Perhaps he believed that the mourners wouldn’t be satisfied with the lingering notion that the deceased husband had departed our world a non-Christian. Nonetheless, on a day when all of us are trying our best to look forward and to celebrate the lives of the deceased, it is just unnecessary and painful.
When we are forced by the fragility of human life to remember how happy they were as a couple, as parents, as children, as friends and neighbors, the theories of the reverend seem entirely irrelevant. It matters which way someone’s life touches our own, as long as we take them for who they are; because if they really touched you in a way that matters, you mourn them and then you let them rest in peace.
Rest in peace, W. and J.
advertise
contact us
top of page
Comments
Post a comment