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Since I couldn’t find a way to break the space-time continuum, I had to make a choice.

Do I watch the men’s or women’s basketball game, both starting at 7 p.m.?

Both games against Oregon State had tournament implications (with the men, Pac-10 tournament, with the women, NCAA)

Well, Fox Sports Net 2 made my decision easier by tape-delaying the men’s game until 9:30 p.m.

Therefore, I went to Pauley Pavilion to see the only good basketball team on campus, while bringing a walkman with me to listen to the men’s game on the radio.

Here’s a running diary of my evening:

6:55 p.m. – I found one of the 11,000 empty seats in Pauley Pavilion, sat down, and pulled out my walkman.

6:56 – Oh no! I can’t pick up A.M. stations on my radio so I can’t listen to the action from Corvallis! Of course, the F.M. stations work fine.

I’ll have to resort to looking like a doofus and walking outside of Pauley during each timeout, and putting on monstrous headphones to check the men’s score.

7:08 – The first of many times I’ll be second-guessing the head coaches tonight. Kathy Olivier puts in Lisa Willis for Nikki Blue just 2:14 into the game.

7:09 – Never mind. Willis just hit a three. I’m an idiot.

7:10 – She just got a rebound and an assist. I’m a super idiot.

7:12 – Timeout! I run outside to check on the men.

7:15 – It takes Chris Roberts forever to say the score. UCLA 12-5.

7:16 – If I stand at the edge of the grassy area by the J.D. Morgan Center, I can see the scoreboard in Pauley through an open door, and I can listen to the men’s game and watch the women’s on the screen.

7:17 – A game staff guy starts looking at me weird. I feel uncomfortable, and walk back in.

7:18 – I have an idea.

7:19 – It works! By walking up to the very top row, I somehow get A.M. radio reception and can see the women’s game (barely).

I officially have the worst seat in the house. I’m not even on the side of the court, I’m behind a backboard. And of course, I don’t get reception if I move a row closer.

I am literally the only person in the entire yellow section. This isn’t a good sign for Olivier’s quest for 5000. If 5000 fans show up to Saturday’s game against Oregon, she will donate $1000 to the Mattel’s Children Hospital at UCLA. T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times also said he’d give $1000 if 5000 fans show up.

7:28 – Blue pulls a Ray Young and hurls a pass out of bounds about 20 feet from the nearest Bruin.

7:45 – Natalie Jarrett scores eight points in four minutes. Her season-high was four.

7:47 – Half-time in Pauley. UCLA 42 - OSU 32. The Bruins appear on their way to a much-needed victory.

7:48 – Half-time in Corvallis, tied 30-30. The Beavers played horribly, and they are still tied. Awful.

7:51 – Half-time show. Horrible.

Some kind of video with some of the UCLA gymnasts next to the Bruin Bear, saying “I’m a Bruin,” and then trying to sound tough: “GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!” The image of a 5-foot-1-inch gymnast growling doesn’t exactly scare me.

8:07 – OSU’s Brian Jackson hits a jumper. Jackson and Jimmie Haywood turned down Arizona to go to Oregon State. I’m sure they’re happy now.

8:08 – Ryan Hollins commits an offensive foul. Hollins committed a foul? Is it just me or is he always in foul trouble?

8:14 – Willis pulls down a rebound. GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! Incidentally, they’re still up 50-42.

8:18 – Young makes two threes in a row, and starts showboating.

Ray, you’re 7-17. Why the bragging?

8:36 – Willis makes a three, putting the nail in the coffin. UCLA is up 74-60 with 4:21 left.

8:49 – With 1:07 left, Brian Jackson hits a three narrowing UCLA’s lead to 64-63. Could they choke again?

8:51 – The women’s team wins 82-71. Big final game of season on Saturday.

8:53 – Nope. Young makes a basket, and free throws making it a 69-66 final.

Bruins win! What a shock. Bruins win!

9:35 – Tape delayed game starts. I try betting friends on the game but fail. Unlike USC, UCLA students are smart.

The Stat Geek plans to go to Saturday’s game. Olivier now only needs 4,999 people to show up. E-mail the stat geek at gquinonez@media.ucla.edu.