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I am predicting an anti-climactic Halloween. After all, it’s been a pretty terrifying week – even without a day designated as “scary.”

A monstrous fire – I imagine rivaled only by those in hell – has been engulfing Southern California since Saturday. Week Five has been plagued with midterm anxiety, often bringing even typically stable people to the brink of insanity.

The dating world itself is an alternate universe with year-round opportunities for fright, and conversely, delight.

Asking someone out can be scary, but an affirmative response and getting some action is hopefully more fulfilling than a fun-size Snickers.

Turning on a horror movie can be the perfect opportunity to get cozy, but turning on a stalker can make you feel like the guest star in a frightening flick.

Perhaps the most terrifying element of the dating world is never knowing what’s around the next corner.

Everything could be peachy until you bump into your loved one getting some lovin’ from someone else. The words “let’s just be friends” can haunt one’s ears like the ghost of your unfinished business.

Halloween, just like dating, flirts with this fine line between pleasure and terror, attempting to meld polar opposites in a harmless way. But for big kids, Halloween costumes involve more than looking scary. They’re also about attraction.

So, use this fanciful holiday as the perfect excuse to wear something you’d otherwise be frightened to sport in public. Halloween is also a great time to dump fashion in favor of a costume that subtly communicates your current attitude toward dating.

Girls: Feel like bringing out your inner skank without dealing with the raunchy remarks? Wear as little as you’d like and steer your celebration toward West Hollywood.

Do you secretly enjoy fielding catcalls? Dress the part and have some feline fun.

If you’re on the prowl, be up front about it and dress as a predatory animal. Bring new meaning to the term “foxy lady” or personify an adult version of your favorite fairy tale as a wolf, bear or lion.

If you’re attached, turn Halloween into an exercise in couple bonding and dress up as two things that go together, such as a pair of dice, a princess and a frog, or a flower and a bee.

You could even go out dressed up as a fork and a knife and then come home, undress and spoon the night away. If you’re fairly certain your relationship won’t make it to next year’s Halloween, or even next week, dress up as your favorite bound-to-break-up celebrity couple.

If you’re involved in student government or hold a board position for any kind of group and are currently cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t hide it. Go out dressed as the most famous political love triangle – Bill, Hillary and Monica.

If you’re going out in a group, attract attention to the entire gang with costumes adhering to an original theme. Donning a witty costume is the perfect way to turn meaning and heads while also spurring conversation.

Be costume trailblazers and dress up as an array of road signs – be a stop sign if you’re taken, a “One-Way” sign to communicate sexual preference or a green light if you’re available and looking. A costume doesn’t have to be sexy to be seductive – just think of the racy connotations of road signs like “Dangerous Curves Ahead,” “Slippery When Wet” or “Speed Limit 69.”

If you carry a lot of emotional baggage, spell it out for potential mates with a “Dangerous Intersection” sign. If you just got out of a bumpy relationship, communicate your vulnerability with a “Caution” or “Slow” sign.

This Halloween, dress up, go out and have fun with your significant other, spice up the search for one or be content with your solo status.

Let today’s delightfully frightening demeanor bleed into your everyday routine, but save yourself from the dating realm’s real live demons. Scare your significant other with a surprise appearance in their bed when he or she comes home late from studying. Unexpectedly join your sweetie on an out-of-town break or show up on a long-distance lover’s doorstep. Stay away from situations and relationships that may resemble Halloween on a daily basis, leaving you howling for a way out – but keep the costumes. Maybe Halloween won’t be anti-climactic after all; dressing things up always has the potential to elicit screams of delight – rather than fright – in the bedroom.

Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief. She dressed up as a bunch of grapes in the fourth grade and got upset when a classmate popped one of her balloon “grapes.” Her teacher told her to stop whining. Get it? E-mail Bonos at lbonos@media.ucla.edu.

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