Reconciling personal ideals, cultural identity

Published: Friday, March 1, 1996

Indivdual must decide which aspects of American, Chinese influence coincide with self-recognized values

When I was younger, the most insulting label that my brother could hurl at me was "banana." No, I didn't really mind being known as a fruit, and I still do some pretty inane things that reek of stupidity. But the other, more vicious connotation of the word - that of an Asian individual who betrays his own race by being "white on the inside" - was what hurt more than anything else.

The events which followed the use of that word constitute some amusing memories in my mind, as both my brother and I would try to provide justifications as to why we weren't bananas. Often, the ability to read and write Chinese and the knowledge of spoken Cantonese served as gauges to the degree of our racial loyalty.

Upon reflection, my brother and I were pretty dumb kids, because if knowledge of the Chinese language were the only test for "bananaism," we'd both flunk (sorry Dave, but you speak Cantonese with just a tad less incompetence than I do).

Consequently, the search to uncover the means to cultural loyalty dominated my thoughts for years, until recently, when I realized that I can never truly be loyal to my Chinese culture because I no longer belong to a singularly Asian culture.

You see, the bad thing about the American melting pot is that the ethnic minority often sacrifices a good portion of his native culture in a zealous attempt to assimilate the dominant culture. In short, a good deal of his unique cultural identity blends away in the large vat which makes up our society.

Such was the case with me, as all throughout my growth and development in the United States, I found myself sponging up as much of the American culture as I could.

I did it all.

I grooved along to the funky, pop musical sounds of the '80s (which, I understand, can now be collected in a four-CD set); I played alongside my friends with Transformers and the disguised propagandist vehicle known as GI Joe, and I couch-potatoed along with the best of them - converting myself into something of a television/trash culture expert.

However, not once did I do any of the things that I should have done. The time I wasted on TV court dramas and cheesy pop music I could have spent conversing with my parents - learning Chinese, their experiences or anything else that could have clued me into the richness of my culture. Instead, I end up with bad memories of Paula Abdul and Judge Wapner.

I find that the impasse at which young minorities (especially Asian Americans) arrive is a split identity. Frequently, half of an individual belongs to the mixed and vaguely defined "American" culture, while the other half remains attached to the native ethnic culture. Those who find ways of combining the two different cultural aspects of their characters live a happy and fulfilling life, while those who don't write columns about the problem.

In my generalization of American culture, I neglected to mention the valuable qualities, such as the ideals of religious and racial tolerance and self-reliance/independence. Here, I stress the word "ideal" because even if our current society does not always practice some of these beliefs, they remain an inherent part of the ideology of the culture.

Similarly, my Chinese culture also possesses what I consider good and bad characteristics; the former characterized by a belief in hard work and education, and the latter exemplified by the idea of extreme filial piety.

Sometimes, the challenge of resolving the cultural conflict provides a daunting task since the individual has to choose what aspects of each culture he ignores or keeps in his life. In turn, by combining the various qualities of each culture into one set of beliefs, the individual constructs his own unique self-identity.

For example, I have found it increasingly difficult to buy into the idea of filial piety which my parents encourage. The very thought of automatically granting proper respect to all individuals who are older turns my stomach, for it contradicts my belief that individuals must earn respect, regardless of age. Besides, I know a lot of assholes who happen to be older than me.

Therefore, does my rejection of this aspect of Chinese culture also entail my adoption of the role of racial turncoat? No. My ideas, my beliefs and my ideals all reflect an individual subject to two cultures, one who merges the two cultures according to the merits of their doctrines, in the process of creating his own identity.

Thus, to blindly devote oneself wholly and completely to a set of cultural beliefs appears foolish to me. Each culture in this world contains tenets that may or may not appeal to individuals in varying degrees.

At the same time, the adoption of some beliefs of another culture does not justify the exclusion, avoidance or ignorance of one's own native culture. A true melting pot creates a social environment in which all people share a common language and a common set of beliefs: essentially, a very boring place to live. Only through the inclusion of different languages, religions and ideas can we truly gain joy from an otherwise monotonous life.

Therefore, as much as I would like to, I cannot honestly claim a true Chinese cultural identity: My upbringing in the States and exposure to different cultures here created too profound an impact on my personal ideologies.

In addition, I find it ironic that, at a time in which I begin to realize my limited ability to relate to my Asian heritage, a film such as Jackie Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" is currently gaining a tremendous amount of publicity in the States. I never would have thought that my parents would be fans of an actor bordering on pop-culture fame, and whose following also includes hip, American film genre freaks.

The mind is boggled.

Chieng is a second-year biology student. His column appears alternate Fridays.

Chieh Li Chieng

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