A night one friend will never forget
By Todd Hanson
The recent controversy over sponsorship of the Interfraternity Council failed to take into account the five-month anniversary of a night when a friend of mine encountered a dozen fraternity members. Shortly after midnight on Saturday, May 28, 1994, my friend dropped me off at the top of Roebling Avenue and drove down the hill towards Landfair.
It was a drive he will never forget.
My friend, who is Indian, stopped at the corner to make a left turn. He waited for about 12 males, some of whom were wearing shirts with fraternity letters, to cross the street. One of them noticed my friend in his car, and shouted with an insulting "Indian" accent: "Look! 7-Eleven must be closed!" Another came to the driver's side, opened the door and started to roughly pull my friend's arm. After trying to push the attacker away, my friend was hit in the jaw for resisting.
Meanwhile, other attackers all of whom were white shook his car up and down, yelling more racist epithets. One then attempted to open the passenger side door while others stood around the car laughing.
My friend escaped by grabbing and slamming the driver's door shut, and then by slowly edging his car forward through the crowd.
His physical pain from this unprovoked attack healed long ago. But the wounds from having his race insulted, his personal security threatened and his pride attacked still cause biting emotional and mental pain five months afterward.
He thought he was safe at UCLA. He, and all of us, needs to think again.
My anger over what happened to my friend could easily cause me to hate the fraternity system. But I am angry only at some of the members of the greek system, because I believe that there are two groups of males within it boys and men.
First I will address the boys, at whom my anger rages.
Boys do not realize or care that their words and actions have consequences for others, as well as for themselves. Boys refuse to accept responsibility when they are wrong. Boys deny their faults, or are blind to them. I have met and seen many boys in the fraternity system.
Some prove they are boys by throwing a burning table off the roof of their fraternity house. Others prove it with racist comments. A dozen others proved it that night in May by attacking my friend.
Another group proved it with an ad in the Daily Bruin which began by saying "So you think you know the system?" and then listed a variety of service projects and other activities in which their fraternity is active. It concluded with, "We knew you were wrong!" The list of service projects included Tree People and the UCLA Hunger Project.
I don't care what work fraternity members do for Tree People (or any other philanthropy) if that evening you attack my friend. I don't care how many homeless people's stomachs you fill with soup if you continue to ladle servings of racial hatred into the minds of your brothers and new pledges.
Some may think that I am wrong for having reservations about the sincerity and effectiveness of greeks' efforts to combat racism within the system. The boys who attacked my friend proved my reservations to be correct. Boys, until you reach beyond your hatred, acknowledge that your actions have consequences, look beyond yourself and take responsibility for understanding others, you will always be boys.
Now, I will address the men within the system, and explain why I am frustrated.
I've met many fraternity men and have visited some houses where qualities of "manhood" predominate. Men who realize and care that their words and actions have consequences on others. Men who not only accept responsibility when they are wrong but work to correct the faults or misperceptions which led to being wrong.
Men recognize when others' actions are unacceptable and harmful to others and they work against those actions. My frustration stems from the fact that the men have not made a more concerted effort to educate the boys and to clearly demonstrate a sincere and effective effort to the UCLA community.
It is at this point in a Viewpoint article where the author usually calls for more awareness workshops, more forums for pledges, more community service work. All that's great, but I strongly believe that real change will only come about through direct confrontation. People often feel powerless to combat racism, but I believe we overlook the real power we have.
Personally, people have said "gook," "fag," misogynistic terms and racist comments around me but they usually don't do so more than once. First, I make it clear that I do not like them using such terms. Then I tell them why I personally find their words and attitude offensive, and why I think they hurt people.
This gets them thinking. Because their friend has confronted them, someone they value and trust, it forces them to think. If it happens again, I confront them again, with greater intensity. The effect of these confrontations grows and the person perhaps moves towards understanding.
Sound too idealistic? It isn't. Individuals teach racism to other individuals. Racism can be untaught by individuals as well. It has happened. I have seen it occur.
So I call upon the men in the greek system to confront boys when they say racist comments or perform racist actions. Show them that you are tolerant of difference and intolerant of racism.
You have the power to affect boys' views and lives. And if you really want the UCLA community to accept and trust you, you are compelled to act. If you really think you should be responsored, show me in how you respond to the attack on my friend.
I now wish once more to directly address the boys in the system. You may be tempted to throw this article away and call me a blind liberal ideologue, or any variety of names, because you think I'm completely wrong. Well then, let us look at the list of wrongs and see who is really in the wrong.
Those individuals on the night of May 28, 1994 have grievously wronged my friend and people of color in general. They have wronged this university and what it stands for. They have wronged people who work everyday towards the goal of racial understanding, and they have wronged me. If this list is not long enough to awaken you, then let your minds wrestle with this: In wronging my friend, you have wronged yourselves.
Hanson is a fourth-year English student.