Friday, 5/30/97 Perhaps the kind judge will grant a delay JUDGEMENT: President Clinton finds a minute out of his busy schedule to request postponement
By Maureen Dowd New York Times Dear Susan Webber Wright, Federal District Court, U.S. Courthouse, Little Rock, Ark. 72201: It's amazing that I found the time to write. But I just wanted to take a moment out of my busy, busy, busy schedule to drop you a note and tell you I am so tickled - I mean, delighted - that you will preside over my upcoming trial for sexual harassment. It seems like only yesterday that you were little Susie Webber, a student in my admiralty law class at the University of Arkansas Law School. I'm sorry I lost your final exam and tried to give you a C. You were right to demand an A. My, time has flown since I was governor and gave your husband, Bob, that prestigious appointment on the Arkansas Supreme Court. The Arkansas Supreme Court! Anyhow, in yesterday's decision by the Supreme Court (not the Arkansas Supreme Court!) that Paula Jones can drag me into court and take me away from my virtually interminable efforts at building that bridge to the 21st century, the justices said I could petition you to delay the trial if it interferes with my duties. Do you find that there are enough hours in the day for what you have to do? Imagine how I feel! I am so overworked that I sleep in my clothes. I enclose, for your perusal, a copy of yesterday's Sisyphean schedule at the White House. Sincerely, Bill Clinton P.S. I think the Oklahoma City trial is going so much better without cameras in the courtroom, don't you? P.P.S. Pay no mind to those rumors about that bald eagle tattoo. The bald eagle is the national bird! . . . Schedule for the President for Thursday, May 29 5:15 a.m. - Go to Bosnia and bust Karadzic. 6 a.m. - Stop in Brussels to reconfigure modalities and instrumentalities. 6:35 a.m. - Return to White House. Eradicate racism. 6:40 a.m. - Connect all children to the Internet. 7 a.m. - Summit in Rio de Janeiro. Save rain forest with Sting. Avoid Copacabana. 9 a.m. - Announce plans to rein in entitlements. 9:01 a.m. - Quietly abandon plans to rein in entitlements. 9:30 a.m. - Put 400,000 new police officers on the street and congratulate every one of them. 10 a.m. - Meet Hillary. Repair the breach. 10:15 a.m. - Visit the Mir space station. Noon - Move Democratic Party toward the left. 12:05 p.m. - Move Democratic Party back toward the center. 1 p.m. - Lunch with historians. Rebut the Millard Fillmore analogy. 2 p.m. - Put people first. 2:15 p.m. - Off-the-record meeting with Michael Jackson. 2:30 p.m. - Anti-tobacco rally on the Ellipse. Smash ashtrays with Gore. 3 p.m. - Meeting with Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Work through anger at Ginsburg/Breyer. 3:30 p.m. - Call Stephanopoulos to find out whether Paula Jones trial would help or hurt book advance. 4 p.m. - Meet fashion designers to celebrate end of heroin chic. 5 p.m. Fire Bob Bennett. Contact Daniel Petrocelli. 6 p.m. - Stand between poor children and all hardships. 6:30 p.m. - Retard ozone depletion. 6:32 p.m. - Find a controlling legal authority or two. 7 p.m. - Announce a ban on PAC contributions to all Democratic candidates. Limit individual contributions to $50. 7:30 p.m. - Meeting with Gore. Tell him to take it like a man. 7:45 p.m. - Downtime with Trent Lott, Dick Morris and Frank Luntz. 8 p.m. - Dinner with historians. Rebut the Grover Cleveland analogy. 8:45 p.m. - Call CNN's "Burden of Proof" and tell them to stop linking me with Marv Albert. 9 p.m. to midnight - Physical therapy. 1 a.m. - Meet with science advisers to explore possibility of interplanetary travel to galaxies without sexual harassment laws. 3 a.m. - Pray. Related Links:Court TV