Many people were upset about the passage of Proposition 22, the gay marriage ban (not enough people to defeat the proposition, but hey, that's what Orange County can do to a state). Much of the discrimination we see against homosexuals can be traced to religious sources. But believe it or not, one religious group has finally come out in favor of gay marriage: Jews.
A few weeks ago the Central Conference of American Rabbis adopted a resolution (available at www.ccarnet.org) declaring that Reform rabbis would perform gay commitment ceremonies. Rabbi Charles Kroloff, vice president of the CCAR told CNN the resolution expresses the belief that "gay and lesbian Jews and the committed relationships they form with their partners, deserve the recognition and respect due to people created in the image of God." Of course, Jews have been trying to get that respect for 5,000 years, too. But keep on trying!
Rabbi Eric Weiss, executive director of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center said, "This is a call to all religious denominations to bring the same prophetic voice to lift our nations from the bonds of prejudice to embrace all members of the American family."
Many prominent Jews were happy with the decision. Openly gay Jewish actor Harvey Fierstien said, "I think it's wonderful that the Jewish community ‚ ack! Ack!" He sadly then choked to death on his own voice.
When asked his opinion, little Elian Gonzalez said, "Can't you people leave me alone for five minutes? Just let me get my damn tricycle and leave, already!" He was then also asked his opinions on the environment, OPEC, Austrian parliamentary procedure and horse breeding. Catch the complete interview between Gonzalez and Elijah Wood on ABC (motto: manipulative drivel in easy to swallow craplets!).
I personally think that the rabbis showed a lot of courage in adopting the resolution, but I don't know if they fully thought out the consequences. Many questions a child has may never be resolved because of a glitch in the standard delegation of responsibility that all parents use. Observe:
Timmy: Mom, do watermelons dream?
Mom: I don't know. Go ask your mother.
Timmy: Mom, do watermelons dream?
Mom #2: I don't know. Go ask your mother.
This loop has the potential to extend indefinitely. But to answer your question, Little Timmy, yes, watermelons have dreams, but they're highly Oedipal and you don't want to know about them. Go ask your mother.
It's great to see a religious group finally come out in favor of gay marriage. Unfortunately it's one of the smallest.
It's highly doubtful that groups like the Christian Coalition would ever support gay marriage the way the Reform Jews have. This comes out of 1) homophobia, 2) anti-homosexual biblical quotes and 3) never having heard the phrase, "It's none of your damn business!"
You'd think that the Christian brass would come out for gay marriage, seeing as their whole thing is supposed to be about loving people, live and let live, and that "do unto others" sort of stuff. But hey, we couldn't let those rules extend to gay people. That's something Jesus might do. I suppose compassion can't confound conformity, can it Cardinal?
On his Web site, Rev. Jerry Falwell makes reference to an organization called NARTH, the National Association for Research and Therapy for Homosexuality (www.narth.com). It believes that homosexuality is a clinical disorder that is treatable by therapy. Of course as any reputable psychologist will tell you, the best thing for you is denial and repression. With a little hard work and brainwashing, you can rid yourself of homosexual urges, liberalism, Judaism, free will and any other number of cumbersome semblances of individuality.
Apparently the organization claims that homosexuals suffer from a host of problems including self-loathing, fear of intimacy and predilections toward chemical abuse. Hmm. Those are also the symptoms caused by being a pariah. Paging Nathaniel Hawthorne.
Also on the opposing side of gay marriage is controversial radio shrink Dr. Laura Schlessinger, who has said in regards to homosexual rights (including marriage), "Rights? For sexual deviants, sexual behavior, there are now rights? That's what I'm worried about with the pedophilia and the bestiality and the sado-masochism and the cross-dressing. Is this all going to be rights, too? Why does deviant sexual behavior get rights?" (Find this and other quotes like it at www.tompaine.com.)
I don't find that statement to be the least bit funny; in fact, it's scary. First of all, social deviants do have rights (free speech, fair trial, no cruel and unusual punishment, to name a few). Second, sado-masochism falls under kinky. No one is prohibited from unusual sex. Third, sex must be consensual, else it be rape. Children and animals can't consent, therefore pedophilia and bestiality are considered criminal acts. Homosexuality involves two consenting adults expressing their love for one another. To call homosexuality "deviant" and "a biological error," as Schlessinger has, is equivalent to declaring that African American people are subhuman.
As former Congresswoman Pat Schroeder said, "The pledge of allegiance says 'with liberty and justice for all.' What part of 'all' is unclear?" (www.stopdrlaura.com).
I would equate the NARTH scientists with the guys who came out with the study that you can tell if someone is gay based on the length of their ring finger. I only have one finger for them, and it's plenty long.
With such scientists and leading religious figures aligned against them, it seems highly unlikely that gay marriages will become a legal reality. That's why if gay activists want to make any progress, they need to find an icon that homophobes can relate to.
That's why I'm unveiling an anti-stereotypical gay sheep. This sheep is a Christian symbol who teaches children about tolerance, nutrition and fire safety. Remember, Jesus loves all the sheep in his flock, even the black ones.