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VH-1, the music channel that spent a lot of time struggling to find an identity, has come across some amazing ratings successes. One of its biggest has been the annual "Divas Live" show, which has been running for the last three years, scoring massively high ratings for the cable channel every year.

What makes these singers so appealing that they generate such interest among the public? Is it their beauty, their ever-changing hair, their big voices? No, none of these really account for their popularity. If we all think about what this could be for a second, all of us intelligent UCLA students will come up with the one answer that really makes sense.

These divas so fascinate and enthrall us because they have provided us with an education.

Think about it. Without Tina Turner, how would we have ever known that a woman can survive the utter loss of her hair by wearing big wigs? That Buddhism can give a woman the strength to get rid of her abusive husband? That it is possible to have great legs past the age of 50?

Obviously, Tina is not the only diva to teach us. They all have contributed something amazing and marvelous to the education of society. Madonna, as always, stands out when considering the divas. She has taught us that no matter how many times a person changes her clothes, style or even spirituality, we can always tell it's the same person. Along with this, Madonna demonstrates that it is more fun to have multiple personalities than to remain your one boring self. But probably most importantly, she taught us that it is OK to talk about sex, and not just talk about it, but to be extremely explicit about it.

How could we have ever had such a lengthy national discussion about Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky and their various accessories (Altoids, cigars, etc.) without the massive influence of Madonna? I think perhaps we should all thank her right now for the extensive media coverage and stimulating national debate surrounding that whole political situation.

Madonna's recognized rival throughout much of the '80s was Whitney Houston. And there is very good reason for that. Just think of all that she has taught us in the last two decades. For example, no matter how many times you put your foot in your mouth, you can still sing (except for the occasional sore throat, of course). All of us remember the comments, "I am bigger than the Beatles," "I am not a lesbo," and "Yes, I have hung out with drug dealers."

Any reasonable person might assume that shoving your foot so deeply down so many times would do irreparable damage to the vocal cords (or at least enhance physical flexibility enough so that dancing would improve). Yet, her voice remains one of the biggest and best ever. A final lesson that I'm sure pleases all of the actors in this town: Whitney Houston has demonstrated that it is possible to be a movie star without being able to act (witness "The Bodyguard" and "Waiting to Exhale").

Celine Dion has taught us that we don't have to eat or be tall in order to be accorded the status of diva. A huge voice can emerge from a very tiny place. She also teaches us that sometimes it's better to hear someone sing than to hear them talk.

Cyndi Lauper, a long-lost diva, taught people in my generation how to shop in a thrift store. She also taught us a lot through her lyrics. Who knew that girls just wanted to have fun? How many of us would be able to conjugate the word "bop" today without Cyndi spelling it out for us?

Gloria Estefan has taught us valuable lessons about surviving adversity, singing in Spanish and the plight of the co-dependent female. Especially her earlier tunes such as "Words Get In The Way" and "Don't Wanna Lose You Now" teach us about depending too much on other people. (Gloria, you weren't listening to Cyndi, were you?).

Mariah Carey has also been a classic case of co- dependency throughout much of her career. Yet, she finally demonstrated that you can break free from such a state by dressing skimpily and crossing large bodies of water (see her first video after she broke up with her husband for verification of this).

My favorite lesson that I learned from Janet Jackson is that focusing on social action leads to a beautiful body.

I touched a little on lyrics before, but I have to point out that the lyrics the divas sing also teach us a lot. In fact, they cause us to think through them just as any sacred text does. Haven't many of us spent hours thinking about how we can feel "Like A Virgin" without actually being virgins? I know I spent a lot of time pondering over how long Celine Dion's heart could go on. I also remember long conversations in my family generated by Whitney's declaration that loving yourself is "The Greatest Love of All."

And how many of us have wondered if we could always love someone who we were destined to leave, as a determined Whitney announces in her most popular song, a song that probably has been heard by as many people as have read any single sacred text? And, of course, there is the conundrum of how Whitney could possibly be every woman.

In fact, just ruminate on the following lyrics shared with us by the divine divas themselves: "I see your true colors shining through, and that's why I love you," "Love comes to those who believe it, and that's the way it is," "Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe" (two divas taught us this one, so it must be one of the most important), "What's love got to do with it, what's love but a secondhand emotion?"

I think I have made my point well, and a review of the above information indicates that the "Divas Live" program picked the wrong woman as the ultimate diva. We did not learn much from Diana Ross other than that people can still give you a standing ovation when you sing off-key. In fact, the diva who has taught us the most in the past century is Whitney Houston.

And to all those who disagree with me, I respond by simply flipping my hair (like Mariah), giving you a cold look (like Whitney's best) and saying, "Sorry, honey, but that's the way it is." I have learned from Elton John and RuPaul that a man can be a diva, too.