Mike Hansen Hansen is a political science and history major. Sooner or later you will succumb to his views. Send your objections to lockesmith@hotmail.com.
Oh where, oh where has my vice president gone? Oh where, oh where can he be? With his days so empty and his belly so full, oh where, oh where could he be? In the midst of my morning routine, as I waited at Puzzles for my smoothie before class, a large man wearing a dark suit, sunglasses and an earpiece walked in. He stood stoically by the exit, apparently inspecting the joint for any suspicious activity. I thought to myself, “Wow, this guy looks like a Secret Service agent. I wonder why he’s here at UCLA on a Thursday morning.” Of course, he was there to protect our almost-president Al Gore from any menacing students lurking in Puzzles who might be looking to harm our beloved ex-veep. Now a visiting professor at UCLA, Gore was on campus May 10 to give a lecture on “community-building.” The commotion he caused made me realize that, other than a couple blurbs in the news about his post-election academic endeavors, I have heard very little about the activities of Gore since the Supreme Court gave him the highest boot in the land, denying him the presidency in December. Is he still recuperating from his colossal defeat? Is he hiding from the limelight because he has put on more than a few pounds? Or has he finally given up on the crusade against Bush’s compassionate conservatism? In any case, Gore’s departure from the public eye is detrimental to the Democratic Party, to his chances for election in 2004 and to the UCLA community as well. Wipe away those crocodile tears, Al. Without you at the helm, the Democratic Party lacks a unifying leader. With the notable exception of Sen. Jim Jeffords’ defection from the Republican Party, the Democrats have been floundering ever since Gore’s defeat. His disappearance from the national spotlight leaves no strong voice from the left to counter Bush’s conservatism.
Illustration by JARRETT QUON/Daily Bruin In their disarray, the Democrats have consistently failed to present compelling alternatives to Republican initiatives, allowing them to make progress on tax cuts, education reform and missile defense. Even without an elected position, Gore should mobilize the ranks and travel the states in an attempt to get out the liberal message.
Perhaps with the Senate in democratic hands, things will change and the Democrats will get their act together. But without Gore, the party faces a challenge in the upcoming presidential election. Maybe Gore’s disappearance was orchestrated by the vast right-wing conspiracy in an attempt to eliminate the best Democratic candidate for president in 2004. Or maybe the smoking man in the X-files has kidnapped Gore and replaced him with a duller and chubbier alien clone. Or ... maybe not. If Gore insists on remaining a political hermit, the Democrats will lose a proven winner. Not only has Gore shown he can win the majority of the popular vote, but he has also demonstrated the capability to beat the man who he will challenge if he decides to run in 2004. In addition, Gore is the only potential Democratic candidate who invented the Internet. Sure, the campaign is a few years down the road, and there is still plenty of time to declare candidacy, but the more time Gore spends out of the public eye, the worse his chances are for winning in 2004. If Gore stays out of the limelight for too long, the American public will forget about him. His absence also increases the legitimacy of Bush’s presidency, because the man for whom half of America voted is now nowhere to be seen. Gore risks being replaced by ambitious party upstarts if he stays out of the realm of politics much longer. Already there is a growing cadre of Democrats who may have presidential ambitions. Gore’s own running mate, Sen. Joseph Lieberman, is already in the process of forming an exploratory committee and Senate majority leader Tom Daschle is increasingly assertive in his leadership role within the Democratic Party. In my considerate effort to prevent the reader from shuddering in fear, I will neglect to mention the name that starts with “H” and ends with “illary.” If the ex-veep is nowhere to be seen on the national level, he can only scarcely be found at UCLA, where he accepted a professorship in the School of Public Policy and Social Research. Gore intends to develop a curriculum on community building and hopes to bridge differences between all areas of campus. During spring quarter, he was to have a teaching presence, meeting regularly with students. To the disappointment of many students, however, Gore only showed up once during spring quarter on May 10. This is hardly a regular presence. Also, his first session was inaccessible to many students, because you had to be chosen by a member of the faculty from the School of Public Policy and Social Research, Public Health, Medicine, Law, or the Anderson School. If Mr. Touchy-feely is trying to bring people together who are interested in the same issues and bridge the differences between all areas of campus, why can’t any UCLA student sit in on his lecture (not yet plural)? Is that community building Mr. Gore? Although it is an honor for UCLA to have such a distinguished and accomplished figure as a visiting professor, Gore has done little to interact with students and teaching. I hope all you Muldavin supporters launch a vigorous campaign to deny Gore his professorship, since teaching is the most important component of being a professor here at UCLA. My advice to you, ex-veep Gore, is to stop crying, restrain from the Twinkie binges, begin actually teaching students at UCLA, and come out from hiding to show that you can in fact be the leader of the left-wing ... if you indeed have what it takes.