Part 1 An English student, I am forced to read Inordinate amounts at blinding speed. As Superman flew ’round the world to save Ms. Lane from harm and almost certain grave, I, too, must circle, with my eyes, and gauge What happens line to line, from page to page. One major class subjected me to Pope (That’s Alexander, stretching far in scope) Last weekend, so I spent my time within His Criticism essay and its twin, His essay on Man’s kind, and hoped to find What caused the wheels to churn inside his mind. He wrote in couplets, much like these you see, Though Pope’s equal I don’t pretend to be. Iambic lines of strict pentameter Formed future thoughts of his and also hers. In three parts was the criticism writ, And over seven hundred lines he fit Explaining what art’s worldly critics do And what of it is false, and what is true. “But you who seek to give and merit fame,” As Pope lays out his piece’s formal aim, “And justly bear a critic’s noble name, Be sure yourself and your own reach to know How far your genius, taste and learning go; Launch not beyond your depth, but be discreet, And mark that point where sense and dullness meet.” The critic’s goal, to Pope, and now to me Is but to judge a piece of art’s degree To which it does or doesn’t meet its goal, And figure if the piece has any soul. With that, to you I now present my guide With which reviews of film should all abide. For two parts only, I apologize, As Pope, not I, was justly canonized, Though still, I hope you will peruse my lines Of film review all dressed up to the nines.
Part 2 In terms of idols, film has more than most, Though other arts such claims may try to boast, Inviting critics to build up their news With too much talk of Nicholson and Cruise. That’s not to say the two good work do lack, But all good men must also Mars attack. Though film should be compared to other works, A good review is not one of the perks That stars from noble critics should receive. That child’s system publicists conceive. Nor should a critic to a studio Write good reviews despite all that he knows. While Disney’s made cartoons two-score and four, Though some are great, some others are a bore. And in live-action worlds made for adults, Not every movie made yields good results. But people know this; critics do alike, And so more often in their words do strike Like Zeus, with thund’ring bolt in quite a fuss, Did smite the pride of lost Iasius. But herein lies a problem just as bad As if the critics only good words had, For when critiquing all in front of them, They lose perspective, details small condemn, And tend to think that all must be explained, Forgetting that some movies entertain: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. For what would “My Fair Lady” be if not Forgiven for small holes inside its plot? The same stands for Monroe’s “Some Like It Hot.” It’s Pope’s ideas that still ring true and clear, Though when Pope wrote, one-seven marked the year. As I write now, the year begins two-oh, And while I hope new thoughts from my words grow, I don’t expect to hear them or to see How present lines change future poetry. My only wish is that people really Remember more of this than of “Gigli.”
E-mail Tracer at jtracer@media.ucla.edu.