FUC Club not for every relationship
The first thing we noticed were the free condoms sitting on every table. Then we saw an adult film playing in a curtained-off room. Naked couples chatted in the jacuzzi and there were couches and beds for all the guests to get comfortable on. Not to mention the fully stocked bar, artichoke dip and chips on the counter.
Just another Saturday night for the sex columnists? Of course. But this time we were at the FUC Club, a swingers group aimed at a younger audience that even included some of our very own Bruins.
The FUC Club, which stands for “Friends Under Covers,” was started by a group of hedonistic students who wanted to explore a more sexually adventurous lifestyle. Swinger parties are the one social gathering where it’s acceptable to ditch your date, and couples are encouraged to find other partners to fulfill their sexual desires. This includes anything from fooling around to having sex to enjoying the occasional threesome – all within view of the other partygoers.
Now maybe you’re thinking this is a group of weirdos who can’t get normal humans to sleep with them. We’ll admit, we were skeptical at first. The term “swingers” had conjured up images from the 1970s of shag carpets, gold necklaces and the parties Austin Powers threw.
Surprisingly, though, a group of attractive 20-somethings filled the room. According to them, they weren’t “swingers” at all – rather, many referred to swinging as an “alternative sexual lifestyle” and to themselves as “polyerotic.”
Most of the people were married, engaged or in a long-term relationship. Some had met through swinging, most had “swung” with their partner since the beginning of their relationship, and a few were there to try something new with their spouses.
“Often older couples work their way up to this point after doing everything else the sex counselors told them to do,” said our hostess, who founded the club with her live-in boyfriend.
Our hostess also mentioned that couples get into swinging as an alternative to a divorce or cheating. We were told that spouses can still love each other very much, and while they may not want to leave the relationship, they may want something different than what their partner can give.
It’s a difficult concept to grasp for those of us who aren’t used to separating sex from emotion. The other founder, a recent college graduate, told us, “A lot of times when people are young they have a tendency to treat significant others as an object that fulfills a specific need for them.”
And in reference to his girlfriend, he said, “I had to realize that her sexuality wasn’t my property.” His girlfriend added, “We live together 24/7, and that is the relationship. ... When both partners are open and communicate with each other, I’ve never seen swinging hurt a couple.”
As much as the couples assured us that swinging made them happy, we still had our doubts. While we all can be attracted to more than one person at a time, if you have to seek out other partners in addition to the one you promise to spend the rest of your life with, perhaps you’re just not with the right partner, or you’re not ready to settle down yet.
It seems that, similar to older couples who use swinging to rejuvenate their sex lives, this lifestyle may just be a phase that young couples are experiencing – like dorm “floorcest” or spending every weekend at Maloney’s.
If you’re thinking of swinging, be aware that it isn’t for everyone. You and your partner have to be extremely secure in the relationship and have to master the skill of separating sex from love. If both of you are curious and a little unsure (but neither has any serious doubts), the FUC Club is the most relaxed environment we could imagine.
People can either participate in “soft-swinging,” only touching their partner, or they can just observe and decide if it’s right for them. The fact that most of the group members are college students or recent graduates means you don’t have to worry about getting propositioned by people your parents’ age.
Find out more at www.whatisfucclub.com. For a fun, magicaltastic artichoke dip, mix one part artichoke hearts, one part mayo, one part parmesan cheese and two parts e-mail to ncarey@media.ucla.edu and agrinstead@media.ucla.edu.
