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In the 1800s, Britain dominated many people through imperialist expansion of their empire. They came, they conquered, and they benefited from it. Today, many people are like these colonies. You spot them across the room, and you want to sail your ship to them – to claim them in the name of your country, and use them for all they’re worth.

Sex and hooking up have become the modern colonization.

The desire to stick your flag in people may sometimes be a feeling so strong that every time you see them, there’s an overwhelming need to have them right then and there in the middle of Bruin Plaza.

However, once you do finally get together with them, passion subsides, India declares its freedom, and you might just stop talking altogether. You may think things just didn’t work out. But in actuality, you’ve just committed an act of conquest.

The idea of carnal conquest can have a lot of negative connotations – for instance, sexual subordination, hurting a partner, or even non-consensual sex.

To clarify, conquest has morphed into a new philosophy of hooking up, in which both men and women have caught on to the thrill of the chase, only to lose interest afterward.

It may sound harsh, but it happens a lot. Often, we have no interest in the other person except for our physical attraction to them – and as long as both people can acknowledge this – no one gets hurt and everyone has had their imperialistic fun.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that no one appreciates a hard-earned relationship any more, but an increasing number of us are becoming conquistadors.

The desire to make someone yours, if only for a few minutes (or a few hours if you’re really lucky), goes beyond having chemistry with your partner. Obviously, it has to do with mutual lust, but its underlying appeal is simple – it’s the vanity of knowing that we have the ability to conquer our goals.

Chasing after someone who makes you work a little for the ultimate reward can be a turn-on. We’re not suggesting that you should play mind games with someone you really care about, but if a situation is purely about the conquest, there should always be some prolonging of the final destination.

In that way, conquest is kind of like an orgasm – it’s a lot of work, it’s fun while it lasts, but you’re always looking forward to your next one. Participants interested in conquest aren’t trying to start a relationship with the person they’re with. They want to use the situation for what its worth, then begin to look for their next obstacle to overcome (or come with).

But conquest should also be about honesty and getting to the point. Granted, you may want a serious relationship with someone down the road, but at the moment, a conqueror just wants to hook up – no muss, no fuss. And if having an insanely good time on the couch is really all that you want from a person, and vice versa, then everyone wins.

The independence that conquest allows is empowering. The excitement of knowing that you got what you came for leaves you feeling like a more confident person the next day.

Conquest also affords a certain amount of relief. After the initial tantalizing chase, you aren’t required to invest anything. There won’t be anyone there in the morning when you wake up.

But is this really what you want?

When you’re an imperialist, you don’t need the justification of emotions; your sexual game places you above and outside the confines of feelings.

But “independence” is a two-faced word – it means the ability to stand on your own, but it also means you’re standing by yourself. You have no one to depend on because you’ve declared your autonomy.

In other words, if you depend on the art of the conquest, you may find yourself lonely and forgetting how to form real attachment.

Conquest is fun, but expect to get out of it what you put in. If you build your entire sexual empire on the foundation of conquering others, eventually your accomplishments may no longer satiate your desires.

If you’re not careful, sooner or later everyone will declare their independence from you, and you may wish that you’d formed alliances instead of colonies.

Grinstead and Carey say, “I am America and you are Columbus! Discover me, Ramone, just discover me!” E-mail them at agrinstead@media.ucla.edu and ncarey@media.ucla.edu.