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Friends with benefits. It sounds like the ideal arrangement, doesn’t it? After all, if both parties promise not to get emotionally attached, it seems sensible that two people can get physically involved and leave commitment and jealousy by the wayside.

In theory, having a friendship that retreats between the sheets on a regular or sporadic basis without the messiness of a full-fledged relationship looks like bliss.

Lori Faber, a first-year linguistics and anthropology student, acknowledges that she just isn’t a relationship gal, preferring the more casual friends-with-benefits arrangement.

“Sometimes it goes, ‘Well, that worked out,’ and then we’re back to being friends. And other times it totally trashes the friendship,” Faber said.

While Faber and others say they have seen it work without emotional involvement, friends with benefits belongs on the shelf with the other abandoned “too good to be true” offers in life – the used car “steal” you didn’t know required a huge down payment and the fine print of credit card offers.

But the difference with this reality-warping promotion is that usually a friend, yourself or some alcohol convinces you it’s a good idea – not a TV ad.

And as real people are much more persuasive than machines, it’s easy to get sucked into believing hook-ups with no hang-ups are the new dating innovation.

But you can’t shut out those old-fashioned feelings. Usually it isn’t long before someone gets jealous when a “friend” feels free to flirt or date others.

Often, friends opt for benefits when other factors prevent them from having the relationship title.

Sometimes it’s impending graduation, going off to school, parting for the summer, unresolved issues or emotional baggage one of you admits to still carrying.

For example, Nathan Brown, a second-year graduating history student, is casually hooking up with a friend because graduation will likely result in both of them going separate ways soon.

But he hasn’t completely shrugged off the idea of commitment.

“She keeps telling me we’re not exclusive, but I have no interest in finding anyone else. It’s a de facto exclusive relationship for myself. ... It’s pretty much in her hands,” Brown said.

This is where the whole non-serious thing can get kind of slippery. As long as both friends are in such a place of non-stability and neither desires commitment, you can possibly have all the play you want without the work of a relationship.

But the problems accrue when feelings do creep in, as they often do. As much as you vow not to get emotionally attached, you can find yourself months into a friend relationship that brings as much drama – or more – than a flat-out, you’re-allowed-to-go-on-dates relationship.

When things go from light to heavy, and only one side feels the emotional shake, you can lose your cuddly buddy and the platonic friend you began with.

Just as friends with benefits can go from a good idea to an awful one, I spoke to one student who, at the beginning of our conversation, was thinking, yeah, that’s a good idea. But after some thought, he realized it probably wasn’t the way to go.

“There are some people who are able to have sex and not care and not get emotionally attached. I don’t know if I could,” said Mark Banner, a first-year ethnomusicology student.

And that, in short – this progression from elation to negation – is how many friends with benefits turn into friends with baggage.

Since you never know if the friends-with-benefits thing will end in resentment or a mutual decision to go back to being “just friends,” it’s best to be careful and either date your friend or find another mate.

But then again, I have quite a few friends with benefits – you know, friends in the working world with health and dental coverage. We’re getting along just fine.

Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. E-mail her at lbonos@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.