• printer friendly
• mail this article
• iPod format
• digg

Football kickers play the most maligned position in all of sports.

They suffer from the same jealous unpopularity annoying white guards do in basketball – they look too much like everyone else.

Plus, most sports fans think they can do their job.

So when kickers miss, they are subject to a million Joe Blows’ ire.

It’s the same phenomenon as making fun of Shaq and free throws. A lot of people can hit half their free throws in an empty gym. But that doesn’t mean you can do it in front of thousands of people.

So for those of you out there who were first grade champion at kickball or played five years of youth soccer, I’m here to tell you that kicking field goals ain’t easy.

Granted, I have the leg strength of a dachshund. But as I strode onto the football practice field last week, I figured I could convert half of my extra points (19 yards away) and maybe sneak one through from 30 yards.

It wasn’t like I was out kicking blindly by myself either. I had first-team all-Pac-10 kicker and fellow member of the Mission San Jose Little League Champion Astros – Justin Medlock – with me.

After studying him for a few minutes as he calmly hit 10 straight field goals from beyond 40 yards, I thought I had the technique about figured out – take three steps back and two to the side, and then kick the ball really far between the yellow poles.

After a few minutes, I realized I couldn’t even get the “kick the ball” part right.

On my first extra-point try, I kicked the ground first, sending the ball fluttering 10 yards to the right and only five feet off the ground.

Thankfully, instead of 50,000 people, I only had three football players laugh at me.

Medlock tried to keep a straight face and had me take longer steps and keep my foot pointed toward the ground when I struck the ball.

He must be a horrible teacher though because my next three tries went under the crossbar. Although in my defense, one of them was kind of in the general direction.

Then on my fifth attempt everything clicked. I approached the ball smoothly, and when my foot hit pigskin I swear I heard angels sing.

I eagerly looked up and saw the very ball from my foot reach toward the heavens and descend in the distance.

It triumphantly bounced on the crossbar and leapt over, exactly as I had planned.

See, not that hard.

My triumph was short-lived. Medlock proceeded to thoroughly embarrass me in a foot-to-foot matchup.

Losing to him shouldn’t have been humiliating at all, seeing as he’s one of the best kickers in college football.

On the other hand, he is left-footed and used his right instead.

In fact, after my miraculous crossbar extra point, I didn’t make another attempt all day.

I attempted toeing the ball, taking just one approach step, scooping the ball with my foot. At the end I got desperate and tried five in a row from eight yards, which is technically still in the end zone.

Not one was close. Medlock beat me with his right foot from there too.

I’m not necessarily claiming that because I suck, most people out there do too. But I honestly thought I had some shot at succeeding at some of the easier kicks, but I might as well have been trying to tackle Maurice Drew.

So instead of being one of those fans after a missed field goal that says, “How did he miss that!” go out yourself and see how hard it is.

Then again, I’m not the best example.

I think I was unfair to dachshunds.

E-mail Peters at bpeters@media.ucla.edu if you think writing a column is easy.