[ORIENTATION]: Don’t worry about not fitting in
Everyone starts off not knowing what to expect; the people you meet can help shape your future
As I walked into my new dorm room and greeted my new roommates in the fall of 2004, I was nervous.
Really nervous.
My roommates’ parents were long gone as my family (for which the term “punctuality” holds no meaning) arrived to move in early in the evening. With a few handshakes, Joey was already schmoozing with my parents, while Calvin was offering to help unload my stuff.
I was a little embarrassed when my dad decided to get Joey, Calvin and me into a line for a photo on his camera phone. But within a few hours, we were all smiles (and not the awkward kind), and we were already beginning to make friends with the others on our floor.
For a moment as big as moving into your college dorm, it’s normal to be nervous. As soon as you step foot in your dorm building, it’s nearly impossible not to be. But for me, the best way to become comfortable at my new school was meeting people.
Of course, you make an effort to make a good first impression on your roommates (hopefully), but it’s not like the first two-minute interactions with anyone you meet are going to define anything. I worried that the entire ordeal would be awkward and people would think I was weird (actually, I pretty much took that for granted).
But it’s important to remember that everyone’s starting at the same place. Even if those first moments with your roommates or soon-to-be friends on your floor are awkward ones, it is better to break the ice than let the awkwardness prevent you from getting comfortable.
After our move-in, my floor sat down for dinner in De Neve Dining Hall, with a good 20 or more people scrunched together, tray-to-tray, eating while trying to make friends at the same time.
As we took our seats to get our first taste of the fine dining that would serve us all year long, I found myself sitting across from someone I knew from Facebook – you might actually find yourself doing that more than once.
I recognized her face: Her name was Taleen. I said hello, mentioned our “friendship” and, in classic form, tried to pronounce her last name from memory.
Of course, me pronouncing Armenian last names is like watching a caveman try to explain he is hungry: half sad, half offensive and all awkward.
But instead of complete humiliation, we laughed. Maybe a bit nervously, but we did, and it was nice.
The ice was broken, and even though I knew I wasn’t Joe Cool from the start, it was a start nonetheless.
In addition to being nervous about meeting new people, I also found that everyone comes into UCLA with at least one worry about school or social life. Mine was partying. I’ve never been the biggest party animal, as I never partied in high school. Ever.
I barely knew how to spell alcohol, let alone drink it.
My conception of college from the outset was that everyone parties, and while everyone is boozing it up at frat parties, I figured I would be pretty much the lamest person here.
So maybe that second part hasn’t changed, but the remedy was that, in addition to beginning a new year together, my roommates and floor friends had more in common with me than I might have assumed, and that common ground made me much more comfortable with going to parties.
As I got to know my new friends more and more, partying took the backseat to friendship.
Singing Third Eye Blind into the wee hours of the night or trick-or-treating throughout Westwood homes, dressed as Power Rangers and storybook characters, became our memories.
And even when I did decide to drink, none other than my good friend Robert, a neighbor on my floor, was there to see me through all the vomit, stumbling and UCPD patrol cars.
It’s funny, looking back on the past two years of college. I can’t imagine any of my roommates and floor friends not being part of my life. I don’t mean to be all mushy, but finding those friends early on, though it may have been awkward, was the best decision I could have made when I got to UCLA.
So when it’s your turn to walk into your new dorm and shake hands with your new roommates and all you can think about is not being awkward, remember that meeting these people will help you overcome the fears you may have about starting school at UCLA.
If you’re looking forward to making friends with Lipkin (and have meal swipes to spare), drop him a line at dlipkin@media.ucla.edu.


